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Disclaimer: Roses are red, lawyers are greedy
We don't own Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, or Big O
So please don't sue us, as we are financially needy.
Authors:
AnonymousTrigunOtaku and TracyC (aurus). Special mention to ff.net reviewer
“Hecate” who provided the idea for the ninth chapter.
Rating:
PG-13 for
drug use, albeit unintentional.
Genre:
Humor, parody, Trigun/Bebop/Big O/Gundam Wing crossovers
Warnings:
Drug use, citrus/fanservice, shounen ai.
Pairings:
VashxMeryl, MillyxWolfwood, Knives/Legato, FayexSpike, RogerxDorothy, Heero/Duo
Chapters:
12
Summary: Omake to The Great Gunsmoke Smokeout, which I recommend you read first as it establishes the crossovers and setting. Ed brings some mushrooms to dinner. . .
Author's Note: This is *kind of* an omake to "The Great Gunsmoke Smokeout," but it's more of a story in itself (and don't worry, there will be a longer and better one set in the same setting. I just wanted to make this a fic of its own so I could rate correctly for this one with a strong PG-13. The upcoming story is IMHO PG material.)
So. . .I was watching that oh so funny episode of Cowboy Bebop called "Mushroom Samba" and I came up with an idea. . .
I want to tell you that I'm not endorsing drugs in any way here. You probably will be able to tell that from the fic, nevertheless I just want to make it quite clear. Drugs are bad for you, and if you can't understand that, you aren't old enough to be reading this no matter what your chronological age is. Rant over.
If Jet is OOC, sorry about that-he and Knives are the hardest characters for me to write in-character. Wonder why. . .
"Mushroom Clouds"
"Prologue: Oops! Wrong Bag!"
Three months after the smokeout. . .
Milly smiles as she looks at the calendar. This day, October 23, marked the official start of the Summer's End holiday, the biggest two-day holiday on the sandy planet-although the only real differences between summer and winter, the two seasons, was that winter brought cold in some cities, and occasional snow and ice in December City during the month for which it was named. "Maybe they are pretty different seasons after all."
She smiled as she looked at the large spaceship parked on the rented corral field across the street. Faye and Meryl had made up their differences somehow, and that had led to the entire Bebop crew being invited back for this holiday.
It was strange all right: the party was only supposed to be a quiet dinner for Meryl and Vash and her and Wolfwood.
Two weeks before, though, Wolfwood had invited Roger and Dorothy to the party, then Knives had made a subtle hint that he actually wanted to be included in this "spider gathering." Vash had taken that as progress on Knives's mental health, and Knives was invited. Of course, where Knives went, Legato did also, and the party had gone from four people to eight in a manner of days. The addition of these rather strange bounty hunters had brought the party total to twelve, excluding Kuroneko, Ein, and a few houseflies.
Later that day, Meryl, Jet, Wolfwood, and Legato had taken over the kitchen, sending their much less culinarily-gifted and much more disaster-prone spouses, friends, or significant others out to the shared backyard.
"Thanks for helping me out at that fight at the dinner party."
"No big deal. By the way, how did you and Dorothy end up here?"
"It's kind of a long story, Vash. You see, I used to live in this place called Paradigm City, a city where everyone had lost their memories in the Event that had happened 45 years ago. I was a negotiator."
"Is that on this planet?"
"I don't think so. Sometimes I wonder if it even existed."
"Is a negotiator like here-"
"Kind of like that. Here, I occasionally get negotiations between criminals and the law, but normally I'm more like a lawyer, a settler of disputes. There, the job description was slightly different-I handled matters between the worst of the worst criminals and the Military Police. . .among other things."
"How did you end up here?"
"Long story, like I said. Back then, I owned a huge robot called a megadeuce, Big O to be exact. Anyway, the megadeuce exploded with Dorothy and I inside after a battle. . .we awakened out in the desert here with a few twisted pieces of metal around us."
"Dorothy. Is she a plant or-"
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Dorothy's an android. . .I acquired her in a failed negotiation, and. . .when we arrived here, we. . .we decided to get married, because we were deeply in love with each other."
"Awwwww. . . .that's sooooo sweeeet. . ."
"You.
. .you're crying? I guess what Wolfwood said was true then-you are really
softhearted."
"Hey, Ed, we need another bag of mushrooms for this casserole!" Meryl yells to Radical Edward, despite Jet's disgusted sigh. "What, you don't like mushrooms or something? They're such a rare find around here, unlike in other places."
"We just had a lot of them one time, and I've hated the things ever since."
"Ed's
got it! Here you go, mushroom-mushrooms. . ."
Shortly after the meal. . .
"Hey, Jet-guy."
"What's up, Ed? Ugh, I can't believe anyone would actually eat mushrooms but everyone except us and that android loved that casserole."
"Umm, that's why Ed wanted to talk. You know these crazy-crazy mushrooms Ed found so long ago?"
"Don't remind me. I still can't believe I was talkin' to bonsais."
"Umm, well, Ed mixed up a bag of those Ed had saved for experiments, and a bag of the normal mushrooms, and-"
"Ed!"
"Well, it isn't that bad now is it? Ed will have more research, and everyone should be all right tomorrow and-"
"Ed forgets. . .grr. I mean, you forget that one of these people blew up two cities and a hole in that fifth moon."
"Trouble-trouble.
. .Ed says we better leave."
Wolfwood
had felt rather strange for the last few minutes, as he walks back to his house.
"Maybe I need a cigarette, or maybe that drinkin' game with Tongari
wasn't the best idea." He stares at the portable confessional lying on
the floor. "Is that thing gettin' bigger?"
Meryl
placed a stack of dishes in the kitchen, then walked to the small office inside
the house belonging to her and Vash. "I feel kind of sick. I need to
finish that report though, get it in by tomorrow afternoon." She opens
the typewriter and feeds in a piece of paper.
Milly
stared at the tables for a second. Meryl had asked her to put away the leftover
food, drinks, and anything else. "Sempaiii. . .wait, you left me all
this pudding? Thank you!"
Vash
placed a hand to his head as he walked out in the night air. "Wolfwood.
. . you always drink me under the table. . .so dizzy. . .I just want to go home.
. .Meryl?" he snuggled next to "Meryl," ignoring the sharp,
stabbing pains now in his arms, face, and midsection.
Knives had no idea why, but all of December City before him looked to be covered in neon tubes, something he had only seen in history books. Not only that, but shards of beautifully-colored glass lie on the ground. "Put me back together, snap the pieces into the slots in the neon web, and this whole city and everyone inside will become plants."
"I
didn't just hear. . .yes. I will."
"Legato. . .your name itself is musical. Go and sing for the world, and I, your Master, will reward you as you wish."
Legato stared in shock at "Knives," standing there in his room, appearing almost to beckon him to come closer. "Yes, Master."
Roger
saw the third megadeuce on the horizon. "What are you doing back. . .at
least I'm back with mine." He began reaching for switches and cords,
pulling each. "Big O! It's showtime!"
Faye eyed the fence. "Looks like you need you need your nails painted too. You have so many."
Dorothy
stared at Roger standing there flipping light switches on and off for a few
minutes, then walked back to Wolfwood and Milly's house. "It is as if he
has taken leave of his intellect. Walking inside, she saw Selphie alone.
"Whatever is going on here. . .come on, stay with me." The now
almost-human android cradled the child in her arms, as she walked around looking
for someone, anyone who was sane.
And
Spike, feeling as if the walk back to the Bebop was 100 iles long, slapped his
hand against his head. "Not again."