|
|
Disclaimer: Roses are red, lawyers are greedy
We don't own Trigun, Cowboy Bebop, or Big O
So please don't sue us, as we are financially needy.
Slight
shounen-ai warning here. It's not meant as serious (more of a parody, like the
audience of fangirls) but just so I don't get flamed. . .warning posted.
"Night
Music"
"Yes,
Master." With those words, Legato climbed toward the window, up to what
seemed to be an endless ladder, then out to what looked as if it were the
biggest stage.
"Now, the performance you've allllll beeeeeen waaaaaiiiittting for! Presenting 'Heartbreak Hotel,' Midvalley T. Hornfreak on the saxophone, you heard meeeee right, ladies. . ." Legato watches Midvalley bow for the applause, then step aside.
"And vocalllls by none other than the maaaann yoooooouuuuu've beeen waiiiiting for. . .Legato Bluesummers!"
"Master, why. . .why are you making me do this? You know I do not like human spiders, and women. . .fine, I will give them a show because you ordered."
Legato
lifts the microphone to his lips, listening for the cue from Midvalley, letting
the words escape in a throaty moan.
"Now
since my baby left me, I've found a new place to dwell:"
The audience, mostly composed of young women waving posters, wall scrolls, cheesecakes, and foam hands squeals. "Oooh, sing it Legato!"
"We love yooooouuuuuu!"
"Not
like my Master can. . .but enough of that, I have to finish this."
Legato breathes in deeply, then sings the next line.
"Down at the end of Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel, ooh, ohh. . .
I'm so lonely, I'm so lonely,
I'm
so lonely that I could die"
"Come home with meeeeeeeee!"
"Pleaasssseeee,
I'll dry all your tears!"
"And though it's always crowded, you can still find some room
for broken hearted lovers to cry there in the gloom
and be so lonely. . .ohh, oooh, oh, so lonely,
oh, so lonely they could die"
Legato finishes that line by somehow ferociously swiveling his hips, then looking straight at the audience, sighing at the stupidity of the worthless spiders who have just fainted in the front row, wall scrolls and squished plushies still firmly in hand.
"The bell hop's tears keep flowing, the desk clerk's dressed in black.
They've been so long on Lonely Street they never will go back
and they're so lonely, oooh, ooh, oh, they're so lonely
they're so lonely they pray to die."
At
that, Legato brings his hand to his mouth, slowly licking it.
"Oooooo!"
"Please please!"
"I'd
die for yoooooouuu, a moment in your arms, a kiss-"
"So if your baby leaves and you have a tale to tell
just take a walk down Lonely Street to Heartbreak Hotel. Ooh, ooh,
where you'll be lonely and I'll be lonely,
we'll be so lonely that we could die. . ."
Legato licks his hand once more, eyes on Midvalley rather than the crowd. "They want an encore, Master."
"A what?"
"Act like you're singin' it to me, Midvalley the Hornfreak. You know Master won't be pleased at all if this concert doesn't go well."
"Fine,
you both owe me."
Legato
steps back out to the audience.
"He was psycho, but this is. . ." Wolfwood's cigarette falls from his gaping mouth as he, along with everyone else, stares at Legato standing on the roof, a hairbrush gripped tightly by one hand in front of his mouth, swiveling his body as he sings the Earth classic best popularized by one Elvis Presley, "Heartbreak Hotel."
"Ab-so-lutely insane." Jet finishes the priest's comment, holding back a laugh as Dorothy catches Legato's thrown cape. "What does he think he's doin'?"
"You're askin' me to go inside Legato's mind? No thanks. I have no idea anyway."
"Maybe this was his secret fantasy-wantasy. . .to be this-"
"No, Ed, you don't need to know, but this isn't it."
"Let's just go home. Faye-lady will be in the backyard, and Roger-guy and Spikey-guy will be there too."
"I'm goin' back to be with Milly."
"You all right on your own, Wolfwood?" Jet seems rather concerned.
"Yeah, except for these little blue Slimes."
"I'll go with ya then."
Wolfwood and Jet walk back to town, as Ed, Dorothy, and Selphie return to Wolfwood and Milly's home.